How it started

On a rainy thursday afternoon, I take a sip of my espresso and carefully tell my friends about the project I am about to start..

"So, the idea is, that for the next six months, I am going to approach everyone, and every situation, with love. Even things that would usually really annoy me, even when people are being mean, I will not let myself get overwhelmed by anger or frustration. I will merely take a breath and give them love."

My friends are unsure.

Frank: "You are going to get so much built-up anger inside you. I bet you'll snap after two months. You have to start kickboxing or something if you are planning on making this work"

(Hmmm, I was kinda hoping I could just stick to my regime of singing out loud and sporadically running up and down a set of stairs)

Matt: "It is a really nobel idea but I don't think you can do it."

Emma: "I think it's going to drain your energy."

Toby: "So, imagine someone robbed you? How would you go about that?"
Me: "Well, of course I would feel sad that someone took what is mine, but then I suppose if that person is in a situation where they don't have enough money to get by and they need to steal, that's pretty shit for them as well."
Toby: "What if the person who robbed you took a knife and stabbed you right in the stomach and didn't feel remorse?"
Me: "Yeah. That would hurt. I guess the person who'd do that must be pretty disturbed and confused and would be in desperate need of some compassion."
Toby: "What if he robbed you and stabbed you and then got alll his mates and threw you in the back of a van and then gangraped you and they didn't have any reason to do this, they are just rotten human beings full of hatred. How far will love get you then huh??!"
Me: "Tobes... I was kind of thinking that, for now, I might just focus on people jumping the queue in the supermarket. Or rude customers or something."
Toby: "Ah yeah, fair enough."

With some strong suppport from my friends, I decide to continue my plan.

Why?

I feel that the focus in this world is more and more on harshness, cruelty and negativity. I see so many angry and frustrated people. My natural reaction to these people is to get annoyed and defensive, but in reality this only creates a negative spiral.
I wonder why it would be ok to spend an entire conversation bitching about other people. Or why it is that people enjoy reading gossip about other people's misery. Why people don't sit and pause for a moment and acknowledge that we are all earthlings, of similar value, with emotions, hopes, fears, dreams, pasts and futures.

I am not a particularly hateful or angry person. But I am no saint. I feel anger. I judge people - often too soon. There are certain people I like more than others. There are a lot of things I don't understand. I often think that MY way is the best way, the only way. I am human.

But I still believe that, regardless of all the crap that is going on in the world, us humans are innately GOOD.
Somehow, we got lost along the way.
I want to bring love back.

So that is what I will attempt to do for the next six months. I have no doubt that it will be challenging. I am hoping that no one will stab me in the stomach remorselessly. But whatever happens:

I will give love.

And I will write about it.