Winter in Sydney is beautiful. The sky is crystal blue, the air feels crisp, it's ok to stay home and snuggle up under a doona and order take away, because really, what else are you gonna do when it's that cold outside. Not unimportant either, I can finally wear that white fake fur jacket that makes people want to cuddle me because I am so soft.
A not so nice thing about winter, however, is sinusitis. Blocked and inflamed sinuses inside your head, making it hard to breathe and think. A not so nice thing about sinusitis, is when the built up fluid in your sinus presses down on the nerves of your upper teeth. This makes you want to get a toolbox, grab whatever will assist in pulling your teeth out, and then hit yourself in the face until you go knock out.
Discovery of the week: it is not easy to give love when you feel like your mouth might explode, and when a daily codeine overdose makes it hard to simply put one foot in front of the other.I did give it a try though, my compliment-assignment.
In the doctor's waiting room, I witnessed how extremely friendly the lady behind the counter was. Nothing but smiles, thank yous, pleases and pleasures. So, after my ten minutes of torture in the doctor's room ("does this hurt?" "YES! MTHRFCKR!!"), I walked up to her and said: "I just want to say that I think you are very friendly, and I find it refreshing". To which she replied with a blush and a giggle, and then she said "Oh, I can't help it, I'm just a nice person".
I thought that was pretty cute.
There have been more compliments, but more subconsciously, quick remarks on how people looked or what they said or what they did. I guess that's good, but I had kind of hoped for something more substantial.
What had I hoped for, then? To wander around the streets, with a silent smile of contentness on my face, curing pain and sorrow with a simple bat of my endless eyelashes, my aura pure and white, children holding my hands, old and sick people weeping tears of joy at the sheer sight of me, puppies and kittens jumping with excitement, butterflies in my hair, birds carrying my groceries whilst singing merry melodies? Am I naive and unrealistic after all?
"No", said my friend Jim. "You are not naive and not unrealistic. You are not accepting that this is the way it is. You are acknowledging that there is a law of attraction, that you are not a mere victim of a f*cked up society. That things should be different. That things CAN be different."
And the law of attraction did its work. The other day, I met a girl who showered me with compliments. I have never had so many compliments from a stranger. She said that my parents should keep procreating so that there can be more people like me on this planet (I won't go into detail about the many reasons my parents will not keep procreating, even though it might be pretty entertaining, in hindsight ;)... Her words felt like a warm blanket and it made me smile so wide that my sore teeth saw the sunlight for a moment.
